Know It All Joe

Scripting Through Time: “The Horns of Nimon” Doctor Who Script

I’ve been a huge ‘Doctor Who’ fan since before I could drink and fu…. uh, err, ummm… I mean to say drink milk and have fun. Yay! Milk and fun.

The Horns of Nimon (4) My first and favorite ‘Doctor Who?’ Why Tom Baker of course. I’m not ashamed to admit that I used to go to ‘Doctor Who’ conventions when I was a kid. Though I may not admit it on a first date – or a second, maybe third or tenth date. Probably best to wait until after the wedding. (Let’s just say that I’m very happy ‘Doctor Who’ has finally gone main stream.)

My Final Thought on the 2014 Winter Olympics

When they said that Bob Costas had pinkeye, this is what I went to.

And then I realized what they meant.

I’m not really sure what’s worse. Either way, poor Bob. See you in four years Winter Olympics.

The Force of the First Draft of “The Star Wars” Script

As any true Star Wars fan knows by now, George Lucas’s first draft of “Star Wars” was radically different than what we eventually saw on screen. And I mean radically different! I think it’s the perfect example of why you don’t shoot your first draft and serves as a lesson to all writers that the real writing begins with the rewrite.

Shia LaBeouf Steals Homeless Man’s Bag

Shia LaBeouf– tortured artist? Plagiarist? Lactose intolerant? Or just plain cruel human being?

In this first segment I like to call “Shia LaBeouf’s Bag of Shame,” well, the bag of shame goes to Shia LaBeouf. News sources (don’t quote me) tell me that Shia LaBeouf apparently, most likely, allegedly, categorically, fundamentally, inconceivably, and most certainly doubtfully stole a homeless man’s paper bag to wear over his head on his red carpet walk at an international film festival in Berlin so that he could proclaim that he was “not famous anymore.’

Marvel’s “Guardians of the Galaxy” Trailer

I’ll admit that I know very little about this property.

WIKI ON…

“Guardians of the Galaxy is an upcoming American science fiction superhero film based on the Marvel Comics superhero team of the same name. It is produced by Marvel Studios and distributed by Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures. The film is intended to be the tenth installment in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. The film is written and directed by James Gunn, with a story by Gunn and Nicole Perlman, and features an ensemble cast including Chris Pratt, Zoe Saldana, Dave Bautista, Vin Diesel, Bradley Cooper, Lee Pace, Michael Rooker, Karen Gillan, Djimon Hounsou, John C. Reilly, Glenn Close, and Benicio del Toro. In Guardians of the Galaxy, an American pilot named Peter Quill finds himself the object of a manhunt after stealing an orb coveted by the villainous Ronan. In order to evade Ronan, Quill is forced into an uneasy truce with a group of misfits including Gamora, Rocket, Drax the Destroyer and Groot. But when Quill discovers the true power of the orb and the menace it poses to the cosmos, he must rally his ragtag rivals for a last, desperate stand — with the galaxy’s fate in the balance.”

“Say It Ain’t So” Comic Strip Pilot

Here is a Comic Strip that I developed years back. It was a ‘test strip’ for a possible comic strip series. For various reasons, I never pursued it beyond this one panel. I wrote the ‘test strip’ while a very talented artistic friend (Sean McMenemy) did the art work. I may consider revisiting it soon and making it a series on this site.

Robocop 2014 Recipe Card Movie Review (with extra treats included)

Movie Rating: 2 Joes

RoboCop 2014

2014-02-13 07:51:50

Released February 12, 2014
Action & Adventure, Science Fiction & Fantasy
PG-13

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Cook Time

1 hr 48 min

Cook Time

1 hr 48 min

Ingredients

Stars: Joel Kinnaman, Gary Oldman, Samuel L. Jackson, Michael Keaton,
Abbie Cornish, Jay Baruchel, Jackie Earle Haley
Written by: David Self
Directed by: José Padilha

Instructions

In the year 2028, after a tragic accident, a cop by the name of Alex Murphy is transformed into a cyborg by the evil corporation OmniCorp to protect the streets of Detroit.
OmniCorp’s plan is to use RoboCop as a way to convince the public that machines would make better cops than people. But they just really want to make a lot of money and don’t really care about the people. In other words, they’re a corporation. And that’s RoboCop!

Notes

It occurred to me after seeing RoboCop 2014 that it was like a bad dream I had after watching the 1987 version. In my dream, I’m watching ‘RoboCop 1987’ but my mind is warping and changing things in a nonsensical way. Some of the characters have the same names but yet are different people and although it’s the same story – it’s not. This isn’t a fun dream. It’s a scary dream and I’m struggling to wake up so I can watch the original movie that I enjoyed so much. And I might have wet my bed while I was sleeping. But we’ll save that discussion for another time.
Joel Kinnaman plays RoboCop cyborg, Alex Murphy. He’s a capable actor, but looked greatly out of place here. Peter Weller owned the character in the original. Kinnaman does not. Weller wore a mask throughout most of the film and still he surged with emotions you could feel. Kinnaman’s face was shown throughout most of this film and his performance just came off as bland.
Samuel (don’t confuse me with Laurence Fishburne) L. Jackson and Jay Baruchel had thankless roles and really had nothing to do. Michael Keaton was fine, but I keep wishing there is a better movie out there for him to star in. I miss Michael Keaton. And Gary Oldman … well, I hope they paid him well because he delivered, as always. He’s too good an actor for this remake.
Abbie Cornish played Murphy’s wife, but I found myself not really caring about their relationship. Cornish did a fine job but because they showed so little of their relationship prior to the accident, I just didn’t find myself engaged. Wisely, they kept most of this to a minimum in the original – just enough to show us the anguish of losing his family without bogging down the plot.
And for some reason, they reversed neutered the roll of Lewis, Murphy’s partner. She’s a man now. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that.) But it would have been nice to once again see a strong female in this role and view her interaction with Murphy. But like much of this film, Lewis was just another throwaway.
So they took a very fun, memorable film from the 80’s and stripped it clean and sanitized it. RoboCop 2014 was not fun. A note to the filmmakers… A movie called ‘RoboCop’ is supposed to be fun! Oh, and speaking of fun, who the hell was the damn villain? Unlike the original, there was no disguisable bad guy. It just sort of alternated throughout. The dad from “That 70’s Show” – now that was a good memorable RoboCop villain.
To sum up, toss in a small dab of 80’s, a spoon full of saltpeter, and a quart of black tar, crank the oven to 350 and two hours later you have RoboCop 2014. It’s kind of icky tasting. I don’t recommend it. So if you really want to see a RoboCop movie, I suggest that you subtract 27 from 2014 and see that film instead. You’ll have a better time.

Know It All Joe https://www.knowitalljoe.com/

Dragging it up with a “Bosom Buddies” script

T Bosom_Buddies he 80’s comedy “Bosom Buddies” gave the viewing public their first introduction to Mega-Star Tom Hanks. I was only a kid when the show was on, but remembered thinking “This guy is really funny. I hope he sticks around.” And as it so happens…

“A Fantastic Fear of Everything” Recipe Card Movie Review

Movie Rating: 1 1/2 Joes

A Fantastic Fear of Everything

2014-01-22 08:33:57

UK Release: Friday, June 8, 2012 –
US Release: Friday, February 7, 2014 Limited –
Comedy

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Total Time

1 hr 40 min

Total Time

1 hr 40 min

Ingredients

Stars: Simon Pegg, Amara Karan, Clare Higgins, Alan Drake, Paul Freeman, Kerry Shale,
Zaak Conway, Tuyet Le
Directors: Crispian Mills, Chris Hopewell
Writer: Crispian Mills (screenplay)
Based on the novella “Paranoia in the Launderette” by Bruce Robinson

Instructions

Jack (Simon Pegg) is a children’s author turned crime novelist whose detailed research into the lives of Victorian serial killers has turned him into a paranoid wreck, persecuted by the irrational fear of being murdered.
When Jack is thrown a life-line by his long-suffering agent and a mysterious Hollywood executive takes a sudden and inexplicable interest in his script, what should be his ‘big break’ rapidly turns into his ‘big breakdown’, as Jack is forced to confront his worst demons; among them his love life, his laundry and the origin of all fear.

Notes

A Fantastic Fear of Everything (a clunky and not really accurate title) is a dreary exercise in storytelling. Though it’s listed as a comedy, I would have mixed it into a separate category and named it ‘manically awkward.’ Simon Pegg plays a way too over-the top character (name Jack – points for originality) that is just so manic throughout much of the film that it’s just a bit hard to watch.
We start the film at a place where Jack is already terribly on edge. He’s researching serial killers for a story he’s writing. We are supposed to believe that this is the reason he’s so fearful (because he psyched himself out?). He thinks someone is out to kill him though no real threat is presented at this point. Aside from that, the movie sets up his fear of Laundromats. I didn’t really buy into the psychological reasoning behind this either. If Jack’s erratic behavior was drug induced, then I might have more easily bought it.
I think the film would have been better off showing us the build up to where it first starts off. Let us see Jack mentally fall apart. Let us see him develop this fantastic fear of everything (which is stretching it because he doesn’t have a fear of everything). Maybe then, we the audience might be able to relate to his journey. As for the ultimate resolution, I do see what the filmmakers were shooting for but didn’t really agree with its execution.
The movie had an interesting concept, but if you peel that away, you’ll find that it doesn’t have a good enough story to pour into a full film. The fact that the main character is named ‘Jack’ just shows there is no real originality here. Even visually, it’s all been done before. Even the love interest introduced later in the film was formulaic. I will say this though – Simon Pegg definitely went balls to the wall and gave us everything he had to try and make it work. Too bad he didn’t have better material to work with.
On the up side, thanks to this film, I now know how to do a load of laundry.
Step 1: Open the Door. Step 2: Get the Clothes In. Step 3: Shut the Door. Step 4: Place the Money in the Slot. Step 5: Push Your Slot In. Step 6: Add Detergent

Know It All Joe https://www.knowitalljoe.com/

Side Note * I do realize this film played in the UK a year and a half ago. I am only posting a review now because it has recently become available for digital release in the U.S and hits theaters for a limited run in a couple of weeks (February 7, 2014).

Jailbird Bieber: Why This Makes Me Strangely Happy

This is the headline I awoke to early this morning on CNN’s site.

CNN Bieber Arrest Pic

Justin Bieber was arrested for DUI, resisting arrest, and driving with an expired license. Apparently his street racing caught the eyes of the police. I would think that the cops would know by now that racing isn’t nearly as much fun if you actually have a license and are completely sober. I only do mine “in-the-gutter drunk.”

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