So I had a nightmare last night where I made this incredibly awesome sandwich. This was the kind of sandwich which put all other sandwiches to shame.  This was the kind of sandwich that made you cry when you were done eating it because you were sad that it was no longer there.  This was the kind of sandwich for which you would pass on sex so you could spend a sufficient amount of time savoring it.  Yes, it was that kind of sandwich.

And how’s that a nightmare you ask? 

This hulking creature in the form of a man came stomping along and swiped up my sandwich before I had a chance to take a single bite from it.  He then proceeded to open those big choppers of his and ate the whole thing in just a matter of seconds.  I didn’t care how big this man creature was.  I PROTESTED! 

“Hey, you shouldn’t have eaten that.  That didn’t belong to you” I bellowed.  He turned to me and laughed, smiling at me with his big ugly grin and said “But I did eat it and it was delicious.” 

Knowing I would never see my sandwich again, I insisted that he give me fifty dollars in restitution for my dearly departed food.  “Fifty dollars is a lot for just one sandwich” he growled.  “Not for that sandwich” I insisted.  It was a sandwich to end all sandwiches.

He still demanded an explanation of how it would cost him fifty dollars for just a single delicious sandwich.  I told him the money was not only for the ingredients but for the time spent making the sandwich.  My time was, after all, quite valuable. He apparently believed my time to be worth much less.

This hulking creature reached into his pocket and pulled out a quarter and flung it my way.  “This is all you’ll get.  Now get lost!  And thanks for the sandwich” he laughed. 

I was not going to stand for such an injustice.  He had no right to eat something that wasn’t his.  And because of his selfish actions, my stomach was empty.  I was hungry and needed some food.  And I really missed that sandwich.

So I decided to go after him.  I quickly approached this monster from behind, grabbed his arm and flung him around.  To my surprise, he himself had turned into a sandwich – A very angry giant sandwich.  He raised his sandwich fists and just as he went to hit me with those bologna knuckles…

… I woke up.

And the moral of this story is…

“Don’t go to bed if you’re really, really hungry!”